On top of the world.
I
think I am in the process of retiring. What does that mean? Within context, in novels,
when
a character is going to, retire, for the night, the meaning is that they are
going to bed, to sleep,
“perchance
to dream.” An army, retiring, from the field may be defeated and escapes from
the
battlefield.
Retirement from a job, means handing in a notice to your employer to end your
employment with the presumption that you are going to
stop working. There is also the idea
that the
person
retiring has the opportunity to do whatever they want with their life, going on
long
holidays, reading and relaxing at home, writing their life story; the possibilities
are endless. But
what
if you have plans and the plans turn out to lack depth and provide little fulfilment
or satisfaction?
When Marilyn is not working, on Thursdays
and Fridays, we use our National Trust membership and go out for the day on
trips. Once in a while I write a blog post for my blog, London Calling. I run
nearly every day for thirty or fourty minutes.
I read novels. I cook the evening
meals for Marilyn, Alice, Emily and Abigail. I have a go at baking bread and
cakes once in a while. There are walks with friends;The Thames Path and the
Capital Circuit. All this is great. I like it.
I
read recently an interview with the actor Ian MacKellen. He has no plans to
stop acting.He is nearly 80 years old. Other famous actors, Judi Dench and
Maggie Smith continue working and show no inclination to stop acting or making
films. Musicians, artists, writers; they don’t stop what they are doing and
retire. They may do less as they age, but they don’t stop. It seems what they
do is so much a part of them. To stop is unthinkable. I have friends who don’t
talk about retirement even though they are my age. There is more an attitude
now that people can continue indefinitely at what they do, if what they do
doesn’t retire them first of course.
Here, in Britain, I can do supply teaching
to punctuate my retirement. It is
something I have been doing for about five years since I decided to stop full
time teaching at the age of 59. To begin with I wanted to earn extra money,
beyond my pension, to help Alice and Emily at University with their living
expenses. I soon discovered that I enjoyed supply teaching. It doesn’t have the
pressures of a full time job. I can work when I want to. I can also choose to not
work. Some schools asked me back and I was offered short term regular
employment at some schools.
Until the end of January this year, I was
working two days a week, Monday and Tuesday, at Cranmere Junior School, Esher.
Katie, the teacher I replaced for three months, was on maternity leave until
the end of January. I always had an end in sight. I knew I was going to finish
at Cranmere in the last week of January. I decided, in my mind, to stop
teaching completely when the Cranmere
job finished.
Every day at Cranmere needed total concentration
and hard work. Teaching has always taken me out of myself, often to the point
of exhaustion and created uncomfortable levels of stress at times. But, there
is no way I could say I was not fulfilled. That adrenilin rush, that feeling of,
giving it your all, using every ounce of energy, is alluring and addictive. I
want to have purpose.
This morning I received a phone call from
E-Teach, the teaching agency that finds me supply work. A young lady asked me
if I would like to teach today. I turned the offer down saying that I had
requested no work until further notice. However, it got me thinking. Do I
really want to persevere with this idea of, retirement? Can I make supply teaching fit my needs and requirements
even more now?
I have been accepted to do volunteer work
at The Geffrye Museum in Shoreditch. I took part in a training day, with Fran,
the volunteer coordinator and Eli the curator, along with two other new
volunteers. I have been once, since, to observe another volunteer, Peter, lead a tour
of the almshouses. He was very good. I am going to The Geffrye Museum this Saturday
to observe artefact handling. I know I will enjoy doing this sort of work. It
involves talking about interesting things and socializing. I wonder if it can provide the depth of
engagement and the fulfilment teaching a class provides? I have a fear that it
could become repetitive.
Perhaps what I am leading to is, do I want to continue with some teaching? I have mixed feelings. I need to find a new way.